


More Than We Used To Be

by SilverAmoebasquid



Series: STZ Week 2018 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I love kawasemishira, I've always thought about writing a college au but never have, M/M, Shiratorizawa Week 2018, americanised college setting bc thats all i know, and i love putting kenjirou through angst, big pile of platonic fluff coming right up, day 4: future, day 5: angst, either way. college au, enemies to friends trope kills me, idk what happened here insp just came out of nowhere and hit me like a fucking bulldozer, ill post the next chapters as I write them in the coming days, it fits the prompts for day 4 and 5 and that's all that matters, let them all be a fluffy platonic cuddle pile like in my dreams..., maybe bc i didn't really like college all that much while i was there, so a college au oneshot became a 12k multichap disaster, sorry buddy i love you and you know that but sometimes I just gotta, stzweek, this is def a fave of mine, warning: author's heart breaks in two, warning: blood, warning: physical and emotional abuse, warning: profamity, yes I'm killing two birds with one stone here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:13:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverAmoebasquid/pseuds/SilverAmoebasquid
Summary: “Eita, the last time Kenjirou tried taking matters into his own hands he ended up in the hospital and almost got in trouble with the law for fighting. Don’t you think removing himself from a toxic place before it gets worse is the grown-up thing to do? He doesn’t have many options right now.”Conflict has arisen at the college that Taichi, Kenjirou, and Eita attend. To solve the problem, They must all become more than they used to be.





	1. Taichi

Taichi heard the front door open and close and anticipated the knocking on his own door a moment later. Eita poked his head inside, eyes tired and hair messy from the late shift he’d worked at the restaurant half a block from the university apartment they shared. Thankfully neither of them had class until late morning tomorrow.

Still, Eita didn’t look pleased. “Taichi, why is my high school arch nemesis asleep on my couch?”

“Because it’s as much my couch as it is your couch and he also happens to be my best friend.” Taichi stood up from his desk and stretched. His homework of the night had been taking far too long. It was already midnight and he had sat down for the evening with the intent to be fast asleep by the time Eita came home. Well, his intent was usually to sleep 24 hours a day, but that had yet to prove itself a possible option. And then, of course, there was the unexpected event of the evening, currently curled up on the sofa, that had taken up some time as well.

Taichi met Eita in the doorway, surveying the apartment’s small living room and its current resident, looking very small on the oversized couch, smothered in blankets.

“What did he tell you to convince you to let him in?” Semi rolled his eyes and moved toward his own bedroom door.

“Nothing,” Taichi stated. “There was no bribe, there was no guilt-tripping. He asked if he could crash on the couch and I said it was all his if he was okay with waking up to you burning toast in the morning.”

Eita folded his arms. “He has to grow up sometime.”

“What do you want him to do? It’s a bad situation all around.”

“I don’t know, maybe he should try dealing with his problems instead of invading my space and making me unhappy too.”

Taichi watched Eita slink behind his bedroom door. He sighed and followed, shutting the door behind him so the sound wouldn’t carry. The argument was the same every time and he was tired of it. “Eita, the last time Kenjirou tried taking matters into his own hands he ended up in the hospital and almost got in trouble with the law for fighting. Don’t you think removing himself from a toxic place before it gets worse is the grown-up thing to do? He doesn’t have many options right now.”

Ignoring Taichi’s words entirely, Eita changed out of work clothes and into sweatpants and a t-shirt, tossing his backpack down by his desk.

“What if it was me?” Taichi placed himself on the foot of the bed where Eita couldn’t ignore him as easily. “What if I was the one living in a house with nine other guys with no sense of respect who continually picked on me. You would let me fucking sleep on the couch every now and then when it got really bad. I don’t care if you guys didn’t get along in high school; he’s still a friend and I’m not kicking him out.”

“If you’re just going to let him live here, make him pay rent.” Semi’s scowl was evident in his voice even when he shut the light off.

“He would,” Taichi reminded. “He’s asked to. You said no to him moving in here. I don’t want to fight about this.”

In the dark room, only gentle streetlamp glow from outside made its way in, too dim to make anything visible, but just enough to outline silhouettes. The shadows of Eita’s hands found Taichi’s and pulled him closer. “I thought you were excited to share an apartment with me, Taichi. If I thought it was going to be like this, I would’ve just let you and Kenjirou go off together.”

Laying side-by-side with Eita was usually so comfortable and Taichi missed that feeling now. Neither wanted the commitment nor the actual feelings of being in a relationship, but cuddling and spending the darkest nights together was beneficial for both of them. Taichi knew of someone else he’d had a similar relationship with. A melancholy feeling settled over Taichi’s shoulders when he thought about high school and how simple things had been then when he could look forward to the end of long days, lying awake in bed with Kenjirou in his arms, talking softly about school, volleyball, the universe, the future, the past, anything.

Moving on instinct, Taichi pulled one of Eita’s hands to touch his chest, hoping the older student would be able to feel the breaking of his heart and reconsider. “You know I couldn’t choose between you two. Kenjirou and I had all of high school together and he had other options of where to live this year. I chose you but... I didn’t really want to choose at all. I’d rather have both of you, but I know that’s not fair to you or to him since you don’t get along. Just let him stay the night when he needs to.”

Eita was quiet for a few solemn heartbeats. “Don’t let him get too comfortable here.”

Taichi sat up and nodded before standing to leave the room. “That’s why he’s on the couch and not in my bed. He’ll be gone by morning.”

  


The weight in Taichi’s heart hadn’t lifted much, but he was at least happy that Eita had given clearance for Kenjirou to stay the night for now. Taichi knew Kenjirou felt just as guilty for coming over, knowing he wasn’t welcome, and it wasn’t like he relished the idea of sleeping in the same building as Eita either, but sometimes it was the lesser of two evils.

The light in the entryway was still on from Eita’s entrance and Taichi was a bit surprised Kenjirou had slept through it, though he supposed the young man hadn’t gotten much in terms of sleep lately.

Taichi shut all the lights off and disappeared back into his own room, unable to get comfortable on his bed. Maybe he should’ve stayed with Eita tonight. He wanted a presence near him. Of course, there was an even easier solution to that problem right outside his door, but Taichi knew better than to invite Kenjirou further inside the small apartment when Eita would surely be making sure the younger vacated the premises first thing in the morning.

The dim, yellow streetlight outside the window didn’t feel as warm and comforting as it usually did so Taichi shut the curtains and drifted off to sleep, unsure if the next day would be much better.

 


	2. Kenjirou

When the first rays of sunlight hit Kenjirou’s eyelids, he tried to bury his face again, exhaustion not ready to release its grip on his body yet. His mind, however, was instantly awake and racing for the day. Morning. They’d be awake. Was his door locked? Was there a chair under the doorknob? Was his window locked?

Kenjirou opened his eyes to unfamiliar scenery, his heart racing before he remembered that he’d walked half a mile to Taichi’s the night before, the possibility of staying at his own “home” leaving a bad taste in his mouth that he couldn’t ignore. His absence probably meant that the other boys he shared a house with had probably spent the night messing up his stuff, but he didn’t care. He’d taken the most valuable of his belongings with him and he was prepared to face the consequences of his actions. At least he had slept through the night. That was more than he would’ve gotten in his own bedroom.

His first class of the day started at 8am and Kenjirou found that he had been lucky enough to wake up a little after 7 even without setting an alarm. He didn’t do much sleeping in most days anyway.

Taichi had told him the night before that he was welcome to anything in the kitchen, but Kenjirou had immediately known he wasn’t going to be taking anything for breakfast. He didn’t know what Eita’s reaction to that would be so it was better not to risk it.

Folding the blanket he’d slept under, Kenjirou eyed the second bedroom door, ajar when he’d arrived but closed now with its occupant inside. Scoffing, Kenjirou looked away again, not wanting to think about Eita. Of course, in high school, they had never been more than rivals and that certainly hadn’t helped their relationship but it had gotten worse lately. Of course, the biggest stressor for Kenjirou had been when Taichi had chosen to move in with Eita instead of continuing the somewhat hopeless search for a place to stay with Kenjirou. The choice had been easy to make, really. Taichi was the only one invited to stay with Eita when his previous roommate transferred schools and Kenjirou had a spot living in the house with the boy's volleyball team if he wanted it. Not living together was a sacrifice for both of them, but it made things easier too.

Of course, Taichi had fallen like a puzzle piece into place with Eita and Kenjirou had listened to his old high school roommate talk for the first two weeks of the semester about how much he liked staying with his old high school senpai.

As Kenjirou finished making the couch look like he hadn’t slept on it, he felt a tickle of jealousy. It was a nice place, honestly, on the third floor of a complex right next to the school. There was a small balcony across the room and a TV and a few comfy couches. The kitchen was just smaller than full-size and the bathroom was spacious enough for a bathtub and a shower. And of course, the best luxury Taichi enjoyed staying here was the company of someone who cared about him. It was something Taichi deserved for sure so Kenjirou was glad he had it, but it didn’t make it much easier during the first weeks of the school year when Taichi had happily talked about life with Eita only feet away at all times while Kenjirou always had to divert conversation away from himself because he didn’t want to talk about his own living situation.

 

The temptation to grab a shower before class had been strong, but  Kenjirou didn’t want to risk waking anyone up by showering so he escaped without seeing either of the apartment’s residentes. Even facing Taichi didn’t sound so appealing as a relaxed stroll to class with no one to bother him for once. He strolled toward one of the buildings of the college campus in the early-morning sunshine still feeling a bit stiff after changing clothes quickly and running his hands through his hair.

Class passed too quickly for Kenjirou’s liking and he could only sit in the student union for so long before he knew he needed to pick up his mood and face the gymnasium where his teammates and housemates would be waiting for him.

The locker room was loud as always, the boys talking and laughing with each other.

“Hey, Shirabu!” The captain of the team waved at him with a bright smile, already changed and ready for practice to start.

Kenjirou forced a smile and opened his locker, stuffing his backpack inside and changing quickly into practice clothing. He was greeted by a few other members of the team, but he couldn’t shake his nerves. They all headed out into the gym to warm up together and everyone got along whether they were a regular, a backup, or one of many who spent tournament season in the stands, only playing for fun.

With the scholarship Kenjirou had received to come to this school, he’d landed his spot as backup setter immediately and there was talk of him being better than the sophomore currently holding the starting position. He practiced diligently for the three hours of allotted time, running drills and playing practice matches as the coach instructed.

It never failed to make him nervous, how amicable everyone was in the gym. The first few practices of the year, it had made him drop his guard but it was always a mistake. His team in the gym was different than his team off the court and he did well to remember that.

 

While the others loitered around the gym and in the locker room after practice had ended, Kenjirou took his belongings and fled, hurrying to the house as quickly as his tired legs would run.

Just as he had hoped, he was the first to arrive. Volleyball practice was the only time the large house was completely silent and empty so Kenjirou did his best to get back before anyone else. He made a beeline for the upstairs bathroom, turning the shower on and relaxing under the heated spray, a difficult privilege to obtain here.

Using up the hot water in a long shower was severely punished here so Kenjirou washed quickly before throwing a towel around his waist and risking the hallway. Ten feet lay between the bathroom door and his bedroom, but they were a dangerous ten feet sometimes.

As soon as Kenjirou stepped out of the bathroom, one of his teammates was there, waiting his turn. With a playful grin, the elder student jabbed two fingers into Kenjirou’s side, making him flinch.

“Didn’t use all the hot water, did you?”

“No,” Kenjirou muttered, hurrying into his room and shutting the door behind him. It wasn’t until the door was locked and a chair was hooked under the knob that Kenjirou exhaled and looked around the state of his room. The last time he’d spent the night out of the house, he’d returned to learn that the team’s star libero and his girlfriend had spent the night in his bed doing things he didn’t want to picture and that some of his clothing was missing. He hadn’t asked for it back.

This evening, his bed was still made from yesterday so that was a good sign. His clothing all seemed thankfully present as he changed into shorts and a t-shirt. However, there were a few mostly-empty bottles of beer on his desk, one tipped over and staining the wood as well as several papers and books on top of it.

Kenjirou sighed and did his best to repair the damage. In the backpack he’d taken to Taichi’s, Kenjirou had brought some class material as well as his laptop for safekeeping, but he quickly found he should’ve been more careful. The outlet where he usually kept his computer plugged in to charge was empty, the cord missing.

His computer wouldn’t last much longer without it, even if Kenjirou preserved the battery life as much as possible. He resettled himself in the uninviting room and stepped back out into the hallway.

By this time, everyone was back home from practice, most lounging in the large living area on the first floor. Kenjirou paused on the staircase inspecting his housemates as they made dinner for themselves out of the food in the fridge. Kenjirou had learned early on that anything he placed in there was free game and anything he took from there was off limit’s to the house’s only freshman resident so he usually ate out or kept non-perishable snacks in his room.

A junior reserve middle blocker sat in an armchair in front of the TV, working on his own computer. Kenjirou recognized the cord plugged into it by the blue tape he had used to mark his property. Gathering his bravado, Kenjirou approached the young man and tapped his shoulder. “I’m surprised my cord even works for your computer, considering that it was designed for my computer.”

The middle blocker glanced up, raising an eyebrow. “Mine broke and I asked everyone if they had a compatible cord I could borrow. You’re the only one with a similar computer.”

“Funny, I don’t remember you asking me to borrow my cord.” Kenjirou could feel a couple different sets of eyes on him from around the room. He was standing on thin ice and he knew it. According to one of the sophomores, the teasing was usually reserved for freshmen who couldn’t take the heat so Kenjirou’s best defense was to stand up for himself. So far it hadn’t been working out though.

Kenjirou took a step forward, pulling the cord behind his foot and staring down the middle blocker.

The older student smirked and grabbed the cord, yanking it taut and pushing Kenjirou’s chest simultaneously to send him crashing to the ground.

Laughter filled the living room and Kenjirou’s cheeks heated up. The cord-stealing middle blocker only looked at him with amusement dancing in his eyes, making no move to apologize or hand the cord back.

Kenjirou glared and lunged for the nearby outlet, in reach now that he was on the floor. Almost as soon as he stretched out a hand, a large one pulled him back, grabbing both his arms to twist behind his back until pain shot up both his shoulders.

“Shirabu, cut it out,” came the voice behind him. “Why can’t you be a team player and let him borrow your cord for a little while? You’ll get it back.”

Kenjirou knew he wouldn’t likely be getting his cord back any time soon if at all, but he didn’t dare say it out loud. Talk like that would get both his wrists broken in seconds flat if the team member holding his arms pulled any tighter.

Instead, he pulled away and retreated up the stairs, turning his back on the rest of the team still laughing at him from below as some of his pride flooded out of his body in angry tears that threatened his eyes. He didn’t know how many more small incidents he would put up with before he snapped.


	3. Eita

Eita would be lying if he said he didn’t feel some guilt over the situation with Kenjirou the night before. It wasn’t that he felt any remorse over Kenjirou himself, but he did feel a little bad for upsetting Taichi.

If he was honest with himself, letting Kenjirou spend the night on the couch wasn’t as big of a deal to Eita as he made it out to be but with Taichi still head-over-heels for the kid and Kenjirou still the same sneaky brat he’d always been, it would only take Eita giving in once before Eita would have to share his toothbrush with Kenjirou or something. Eita needed to put his foot down on this issue. He and Kenjirou had never gotten along and that was common knowledge. Taichi had known that Kenjirou would not be a welcome guest when he’d agreed to move in and Eita was pretty confident that he would’ve been just as unwelcome if Kenjirou and Taichi had found someplace to live on their own, if the brat’s attitude in high school has been any indication,

From an objective standpoint, Eita knew Kenjirou’s current circumstances were unfair but sometimes life was unfair. Eita had learned that himself the day his spot on Shiratorizawa’s volleyball team had been given to an unappreciative, unteachable, snobbish second year and the rest of Eita’s volleyball career was history.

Light spilled into the living room from under Taichi’s bedroom door when Eita let himself into the apartment and he found a half-smile replacing the scowl that made its home on his face whenever he thought about Kenjirou. All through high school, Eita and Kenjirou had been rivals but the punk’s middle blocker roommate had become one of Eita’s favorite people on earth.

Eita opened Taichi’s door quietly, pausing in the doorway as his housemate looked up from his computer, a half-edited term paper filling up the screen.

“Hey,” Taichi said, studying Eita’s expression.

“Hey.” Eita accepted permission to enter the room and came to stand behind Taichi, hands on his shoulders. “Still mad at me for last night?”

“No. Are you mad at me?”

“I was never mad at you. Sorry if it came across that way.” Under Eita’s hands, Taichi’s shoulders still felt tense. “I don’t want to fight about this with you. Let’s go watch a movie or something,”

Taichi scoffed. “When I’m watching a movie, you come pester me to do homework. Now that I’m actually being productive, you want to go sit on the couch?”

Eita laughed at the hint of playfulness in Taichi’s tone and the way he stood up from his desk anyway like he wasn’t actually all that annoyed to be bothered from his work. Reaching the living room, Taichi’s arms were circled around Eita’s waist and he found he didn’t want to interrupt this for the sake of finding a movie. He pulled Taichi to follow him out the side door to the little balcony they had overlooking the street below and the sunset in the distance. There were two chairs on the deck but they only needed one, Eita curling up in Taichi’s lap. It was always a bit of a feat to get comfortable like this since Taichi was only a few inches taller, but it always felt good to Eita, resting his head on Taichi’s shoulder and feeling their breathing sync the longer they sat.

Nights like this, they would end up in the same room to fall asleep still twined together and the contentment between them was almost tangible. Eita had learned to speak the language of Taichi’s silence, understanding through his touch instead that there were no hard feelings between them and Taichi was just as happy as Eita to sit here, quiet in each other’s company, two hearts beating together under the moon as it rose.

 

The worst part of Fridays for Eita was the math tutoring session in the evening that kept him on campus grounds until dusk. The extra help with his worst subject was appreciated and that wasn’t the problem. The problem was the walk back home during which Eita passed by the gymnasium during the time the boy's volleyball team practiced every evening. More accurately, Eita passed by during the time the team was usually cleaning up and he heard the talking and laughing through the open door. For him, of course, that had been the biggest sacrifice. He loved the sport but he also loved everyone he’d met playing and the conversations and inside jokes that always sprung up just from spending so much time together.

Applying diligently for colleges, Eita had tried out for this team and hadn’t made the cut or anywhere near it. He didn’t have anything the other contending setters didn’t and next to them, he looked sloppy and juvenile. He hadn’t been surprised to learn he hadn’t made the team, but he had been surprised a year later when he found out who  _ had _ made the team.

Somewhere inside that gym, Kenjirou got to be a part of all that talking and laughing and he knew the stories behind the inside jokes. Kenjirou was—

Eita stumbled as a dark silhouette in the twilight moved into his field of vision, moving quickly. The dark figure danced out of the way as they nearly collided, probably not looking where he was going. Already in a foul mood, Eita gritted his teeth and barked a warning, only to find the familiar features of Kenjirou’s face illuminated in the orange glow of streetlights. His eyes were dark and held an emotion Eita hadn’t seen before in him. He had lost something, something that Eita had never liked. Kenjirou’s eyes found Eita’s then shot back down to stare at the sidewalk and Eita realized. Kenjirou had lost the cocky pride from high school that had held his shoulders straight and his expression rigid as he somehow always managed to look down on Eita despite being shorter.

All that was gone now and Kenjirou moved quickly to get out of Eita’s way before the older student grabbed his arm, not entirely sure why.

Kenjirou flinched and jerked away violently, watching Eita warily. “What do you want from me.”

“You’re stronger.” Eita hated the little details that he picked up about Kenjirou, like he had memorized his old kouhai whether he wanted to or not. “I mean... You couldn’t push me off that easily in high school. You’ve gotten stronger.”

Suspicion lined Kenjirou’s eyes as he looked at Eita. “Yeah? University level volleyball isn’t anything like Shiratorizawa and we’ve been practicing since summer.”

The entitled, know-it-all tone of voice hadn’t changed and Eita felt bitterness flare up in his chest again. “Pardon me for stepping in your way then, o great volleyball master. I’m sure the sight of a heathen like me must be sickening to someone as important as you.”

With narrowed eyes, Kenjirou started to turn away. “Maybe you should’ve made this team instead of me. You’re just like them. You’d fit right in.”

Eita was pretty sure that wasn’t a compliment. “Yeah? Maybe it’s just you. Some people just make it hard to be friendly. Maybe you just need to change your attitude and stop bringing out the worst in people.”

The familiar raging fire in Kenjirou’s gaze hadn’t risen above a dull smolder for the entire argument and Eita was almost concerned with the lack-luster fight. Two years ago this would’ve escalated into an all-out brawl by now but Kenjirou was taking small, backward steps instead. “You wouldn’t last a day on this team.”

“Yeah, apparently not. Only the best of the best get to—”

“I don’t know if I will either. This is nothing like high school volleyball.”

Eita fell silent as Kenjirou looked away. There was no pride backing up his words like usual.

“If you want to be jealous of my spot on the team, you have put up with having your shit stolen and getting locked out of your bedroom and never being able to shower or eat in peace and always watching your back. If you want that, then sure, envy me.” Kenjirou glanced up as the voices in the gym got closer to the open door. “I have to go.”

Light from inside the building cast long shadows as the other members of the boy's volleyball team headed out for the night, all clustered together. Watching them like this, Eita was jealous. He could’ve been a part of that group all walking out together. It was Kenjirou’s fault for being snobbish and isolating himself. He always did that, too good to be one of the crowd and then moody when no one liked him. Eita started to turn away and walk home when the voices picked up.

“Shirabu! Where are you going in such a hurry?”

“Back to the house...” His voice was quieter than Eita was used to hearing.

“It’s Friday, we’re all gonna go out and grab dinner. You in?”

“I have stuff to do.”

“Well, see, but that’s the thing when we go out like this. Freshmen pay. It’s like having to pay some dues to be part of the group. Next year the new freshmen will be the ones paying. It all evens out.”

“Bullshit. Go buy your own food; I’m going home.”

Eita turned his eyes back to the scene now playing out under a streetlight, seeing mostly silhouettes but recognizing the unmistakable sounds of a scuffle then watching Kenjirou get pushed to the ground, already trying to scramble back to his feet.

“Give me my backpack!”

“Later. Freshmen gotta pay.”

“Give me my fucking keys back! Don’t take my wallet!”

Eita turned, hoping in the shadows of the falling dusk that he hadn’t been sighted by any members of the group and that no one knew he had been watching. For an instant, if he forgot who Kenjirou was, he almost felt bad. If Eita didn’t know who it was, he might’ve wanted to step in and help, but Kenjirou was probably getting what he deserved for being a prick his entire life. Still, Eita felt his conscience complain against him.


	4. Taichi

The apartment’s front door opened and shut, followed by a knock on Taichi’s bedroom door like most nights. Instead of a warm greeting however, Eita looked troubled as he stuck his head inside.

“How was math?” Taichi figured Eita’s usual Friday evening activity was the cause of his sour expression as usual. It wasn’t anyone’s favorite way to spend the beginning of the weekend.

“Fine,” Eita said absently, looking around Taichi’s room like there was something he was trying to find. “Don’t make it a habit or anything, but if Kenjirou spends the night here, you can let him crash in your room. I’d rather not have to see his stupid face on the couch.”

Taichi hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until Eita left the room and he exhaled. Had Eita been thinking about this all week? Taichi thought they had resolved the issue already, but something was making Eita bring it up again and Taichi could spin his wheels all night trying to figure out why. In addition, Taichi knew his housemate well enough to recognize the strange lack of proper greeting. Most nights when they reunited, there was a hug or at least a quick joking conversation about class or an invitation to dig into the ice cream in the freezer while they studied together.

The faint click of Eita’s bedroom door shutting after no such pleasant conversation made Taichi wonder if he’d done something wrong.

From the desk, Taichi’s phone lit up with a new text, alerting him to Kenjirou’s presence outside the door if Taichi had a moment to spare. Without hesitation, Taichi stood up and invited Kenjirou inside. Glancing at Eita’s bedroom door and thinking about his cryptic message, Taichi ushered Kenjirou into his own bedroom and shut the door softly behind them.

Taichi watched Kenjirou instinctively collapse on the bed and self-destruct. “I can’t fucking do this. I’m quitting the team. I’m quitting school. I’m done. I hate this.”

From his desk chair, Taichi watched silently. At the beginning of the year, Kenjirou’s outbursts had been angry but over time, his frustration had turned to exhausted defeat, his face buried in pillows and Taichi wasn’t sure which was worse to watch. “What happened this time?” Taichi asked softly.

Kenjirou sat up and gestured at himself. “All I have right now is my phone that was in my pocket. They took my backpack, which means they have my wallet and my key to the house and everything else. They had the cord for my laptop for like a week and I’ve been using school computers and I just got that back from them but now they have everything. Nothing in my room is safe, nothing in my backpack is safe. I fucking—!” Kenjirou trailed off and punched a pillow, exhaling heavily. “I fucking hate this!”

Taichi sat quietly while Kenjirou filled in the rest of the story in varying degrees of volume and interjected with a slew of swear words.

“They said they’ll let me in tomorrow morning,” Kenjirou finished, his voice barely above a whisper as he picked at a fingernail. “I hate asking to spend the night here but I don’t think they’re going to let me back in tonight even if I tried.”

“That’s fine,” Taichi said calmly. “You’re welcome to stay here. I was going to sleep soon anyway.”

Kenjirou looked relieved. Without having to ask, he stood up and pushed through Taichi’s closet, grabbing some clothing to borrow before leaving the room.

Taichi heard the shower turn on a moment later and he sighed again. In a contest between angry-frustrated Kenjirou and defeated-frustrated Kenjirou, Taichi was pretty sure he’d choose the anger. He couldn’t help feeling like he was losing a key part of his best friend the longer this school year dragged on.

In any other situation, Taichi would’ve hauled himself next door and flopped down on Eita’s bed to spill his thoughts and frustrations, but Eita didn’t want to hear anything related to Kenjirou. Taichi mentally kicked himself for falling in love with two of the most stubborn people on earth.

The shower silenced itself again only minutes later, faster than any normal shower should’ve been. When Kenjirou padded back into the bedroom, he looked on edge as he tossed his practice clothes in a pile on the floor and sat down on the bed again.

From his side, Taichi looked up, patting the pillow next to him. “You can take showers longer than two minutes, you know.”

Kenjirou looked away. “Sorry. Habit.” After a moment’s deliberation, he laid down as well, his tired eyes shining in the dull light of the streetlamp outside the window. “Sorry for coming over again. I promise I won’t do it again.”

“It’s fine,” Taichi assured, feeling fissure cracks in his heart begin to split open. “You can come over when you need to. I think Eita’s warming up to the idea as well. I could probably convince him to let you move in.”

“I don’t want to live here with him. I don’t need your pity either. I hate that I’m even here. I should be back at the house and I should’ve just stood up for myself instead of giving up after they pushed me down.”

“They pushed you?”

Kenjirou showed the scraped palms of his hands. “I don’t know what to do. The one thing they’re really good at is teaching you not to fight back. Because if you do fight back, you’re still not going to win but if you don’t fight back at least you don’t get embarrassed or hurt in the process. This is the last time I come over here because I was too weak to win against them. I’m never going to get anywhere until I find a way to win.”

The smoldering fire in Kenjirou’s eyes was back, but Taichi wasn’t sure if he liked it. Silently, he reached up, pushing Kenjirou’s damp bangs out of the way and running his thumb over the healing scar just visible under his hairline.

Expression darkening in an instant, Kenjirou flinched away.

“Kenjirou, you’ve tried fighting back. It got you banned from practice for a week because you had a concussion. Is that really what you want?”

“I didn’t win that time. I just have to learn how to win against them and earn some respect. I’m not weak.”

“I know you’re not weak. Sometimes the strong thing to do is to admit that you need help. You can’t live like this. I don’t want you to live like this. Let me talk to Eita. I can convince him to let you live here, at least for this year.”

Kenjirou pulled back. “I don’t want to live here with him. Nothing will have changed because he hates me too.”

“But he’s not going to lock you out or take your stuff or beat you up. I’m not asking you to be best friends with him, but just be civil and we’ll work this out.” Taichi felt like he was arguing with a five-year-old. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling though.

“Eita’s mad at me because I’m better than him. If he wants me to apologize for that, he’s got another thing coming. If he wants to get over his petty power struggle, I’ll be civil, but I doubt that’ll ever happen.”

Taichi fell quiet. It was the same argument every time and he was tired of having it. He took a deep breath and tried not to be upset. Caught in between a rock and a hard place wasn’t a comfortable position and the more Kenjirou and Eita butted heads, the worse it got.

Kenjirou reached up, touching Taichi’s cheek with the back of his hand. “Don’t shut down on me. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to have to put up with this.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too.” Taichi couldn’t resist the urge to pull Kenjirou closer any longer. The formation was natural and well-practiced after many long nights in high school together just like this. Taichi placed a soft kiss on Kenjirou’s temple, hugging him tight enough to feel his heartbeat through his shirt. “I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

Kenjirou shifted closer, falling silent. It wasn’t as comfortable as it could’ve been with unspoken words still stretching between them, but Taichi was content to let the words hang out of sight for a little longer. For now, he was where he wanted to be and he could be complacent with this at least through the night.


	5. Kenjirou

With the sun peeking in through the bedroom window, Kenjirou woke slowly, relishing every moment. He was still wrapped tightly in Taichi’s arms, the way they had fallen asleep, tightly tangled together. It had been a long time since they’d gotten to enjoy each other’s company through the night. Kenjirou shifted to line Taichi’s jaw with quick kisses of appreciation as the ginger slowly woke as well.

Kenjirou buried his face in Taichi’s chest, feeling his breaths and relaxing impossibly more into the embrace. Taichi shifted to pull him closer as well, enjoying their morning together just as much as Kenjirou was.

“G’morning,” Taichi mumbled into Kenjirou’s hair. “Sleep well?”

“Best all year,” Kenjirou answered honestly. “Thanks for letting me stay over. Sorry again for making waves. I’ll sneak out now so Eita doesn’t have to see me or anything.”

“Kenjirou...” Taichi rolled over, effectively trapping him in a hug he couldn’t struggle out of.

Biting back laughter, Kenjirou half-heartedly punched Taichi’s arm, trying to get up. It had been far too long and he had missed this feeling of being loved. It had been months since the last time he had woken up peacefully, feeling safe and rested instead of to pounding on his door or one of the other guys on the team barging in. If Kenjirou tried really hard, he could almost forget that everything he owned was in danger since his teammates had all access to his room.

Uncharacteristically, Taichi moved first, standing up and pushing a hand through his hair, somehow already looking good though he’d just rolled out of bed. He looked at Kenjirou with soft eyes before moving toward the door. “Stay there. I’ll be right back.”

Kenjirou relaxed back into the pillows and shut his eyes. This could’ve been his life if he had played his cards differently. In high school, people had teasingly called him and Taichi soulmates but he wasn’t sure if that was far from the truth. They had been close from the moment they met practically and Kenjirou had never felt safer with anyone. He wished more than anything he could rewind back a year when it was just the two of them and life was simpler. But for now, he was content with the moments they could still have together like this.

On the other side of the wall, Kenjirou could hear voices though he couldn’t make out what Taichi and Eita were saying to each other. Kenjirou was positive he was probably the topic of conversation and the reason why Eita’s voice in particular sounded so cold. Kenjirou closed his eyes and tried to pretend there was nothing beyond this bed and he was actually welcome in this house, though he knew it wasn’t true. Anticipation and dread filled his stomach with a familiar poison. The same way he dreaded mornings and the presence of his teammates always downstairs, he waited for Taichi — or worse, Eita himself — to barge in and tell him to pack up and get out before he got too comfortable.

Instead, when Taichi poked his head back inside the room, he looked relieved. “You can stay for the rest of the weekend if you want. Eita’s alright with it. But we should go rescue your stuff before your teammates do anything dumb with it.”

Kenjirou sat up, exhaling slowly. On one hand, staying here for the weekend was a blessing that made Kenjirou’s heart flutter. The thought of two days without having to look at his teammates every time he wanted to leave his room was almost too good to be true. On the other hand, Eita’s invisible presence lingered in the room, probably reluctant to give him the privilege.

Stepping out of the bedroom, Kenjirou had expected Eita to be locked behind his own door, avoiding him at all costs, but instead he was standing by the door, frowning with his arms crossed. Kenjirou could see in his eyes that he recognized Kenjirou wearing Taichi’s clothes. The disapproval was very clear.

“Eita’s coming with us,” Taichi supplied quickly. The rest of his statement was silent but Kenjirou heard it clearly. Taichi wasn’t going to give up on Kenjirou and Eita learning to be civil with each other.

The trip had become a little less pleasant but Kenjirou stuck to his silent pace, keeping Taichi between him and Eita for the ten-minute walk to the big house where many members of the boys' volleyball team lived together.

 

Kenjirou braced himself and knocked on the wood front door. He was likely about to be embarrassed in front of Taichi and Eita and he wasn’t looking forward to it. But Eita had been sulking the entire way here so he wasn’t going to back down until he’d taken the most important of his belongings back.

The team’s ace spiker answered the door, looking down to bridge the several inches he had on Kenjirou. A smirk crossed his face as he saw Taichi and Eita as well.

Kenjirou kept his expression flat as he held out a hand. “My keys.”

The spiker rolled his eyes and gestured for Kenjirou to come inside.

The house itself was an embarrassment, Kenjirou thought, looking around and wishing Taichi and Eita hadn’t come with. Sure, maybe without them he would’ve just gotten pushed to the sidewalk again instead of let inside, but he didn’t want his best friend — or his rival — to see this place for what it was.

Glancing around, all hope of this being a quick trip faded from Kenjirou’s mind as he saw the sheets and blankets from his bed in a pile on the floor in the living room. His backpack and computer lay next to them.

The closest person was the team’s starting setter, playing a video game on the TV.

“What’s with this?” Kenjirou asked, pointing to his stuff. “Why did you take my stuff out of my room?”

The sophomore boy didn’t take his eyes off the TV screen. “We’re thinking of repurposing your room. You can sleep down here though. Family dog.”

Alone, Kenjirou wouldn’t have been phased but knowing Taichi and Eita had also heard the off-color joke, he felt his cheeks heating up. Biting back a bitter response, Kenjirou picked up his belongings and headed silently toward the stairs.

“We’ll give you a bowl of water to drink,” the setter yelled after him, chuckling. “Some newspapers on the floor to piss on.”

Kenjirou did his best not to make eye contact with his companions as he stalked up to his room. Aside from his bed, stripped of the sheets, Kenjirou found his room home to some spare volleyball equipment now as well as if they were actually intending to repurpose the space. Kenjirou didn’t care about that now. He checked through all his stuff, finding his stolen belongings intact. All the cash had been taken out of his wallet but careful monitoring of his account from his phone all night had shown that the team had mercifully left his card alone.

In a rush to escape again, Kenjirou repacked his bag with a few changes of clothes and his more valuable possessions, taking both his laptop and the cord for it this time.

Turning around, Taichi and Eita looked just as uncomfortable as Kenjirou felt in the unwelcoming house. He motioned them back out of the room, Taichi leading the way back down the stairs.

Kenjirou spoke softly to Eita in front of him. “You guys go wait outside. I need to get my keys back.”

Eita nodded, looking eager to push Taichi back through the front door while Kenjirou retrieved the only possession left he hadn’t already gotten back.

At this time of the morning, Kenjirou could hear several of the boys in the kitchen enjoying breakfast on the warm Saturday. Unmistakable, was the loud voice of the team captain, Kenjirou’s best shot at getting his keys. He entered the room hesitantly. He didn’t like the kitchen much; it only had one exit.

The jovial conversation at the table quieted at Kenjirou’s entrance. “I need my keys back,” he stated.

Raising an eyebrow, the team captain gestured at another player who retrieved the keys off a far counter. The captain nodded toward Kenjirou. “What’s with the backpack? You going somewhere?”

“It’s the weekend. I’m going to a friend’s place for a night or two.”

“Fun,” the captain’s hard stare didn’t speak the same message. He held out the key ring.

Kenjirou stepped forward hesitantly, reaching out. The captain swiped at his hand with the jagged edge of the house key, then laughed when Kenjirou pulled back.

“Just give him his keys.”

Kenjirou whirled around at the new voice behind him, finding Eita standing in the doorway.


	6. Eita

As Taichi and Eita stepped outside at Kenjirou’s command, Taichi had immediately expressed his dislike of the house and its residents. Eita agreed wholeheartedly. While he had no fondness for Kenjirou, Eita’s felt his conscience guilting him again. No one deserved to live like that, always having their stuff stolen and thrown on the floor, even Kenjirou. The joke about being the family dog had sent a spear of anger through Eita’s chest and he had been honestly surprised when Kenjirou hadn’t responded with a snippy comment or raised fists. His combative nature had always annoyed Eita but the passive Kenjirou he’d seen inside, taking hits without defending himself was a little disheartening.

Of course, Eita knew through Taichi that life at this house had been tough on Kenjirou. Taichi complained about it to him sometimes and he pretended to listen while also trying not to think about Kenjirou at all. There had been that evening a few months ago when Taichi had called to say he’d be home late because Kenjirou was in the hospital with a severe concussion and Eita had almost found himself worried. But after stepping inside the house for himself today, Eita felt the gravity of the situation for real. Last night when Kenjirou had said this wasn’t anything like Shiratorizawa, he hadn’t been talking about the intensity of the sport. He was referring to this. When the bratty star setter had said Eita would never make it on this team, he wasn’t talking about on the court.

The most jarring realization came when Eita knew Kenjirou was right. He wouldn’t survive in a house like that, constantly being picked on and pushed around. He would’ve snapped long ago and he would’ve come running to Taichi just like Kenjirou did. Eita wasn’t sure if Kenjirou would’ve let him stay if their roles were reversed but he knew what he needed to do.

Eita caught the front door as it started to close, shooting Taichi a serious look. “I’ll be right back. I’m going with him.”

The voices in the kitchen beckoned to Eita and he padded quietly through the house, feeling like if he strayed too far to either side, he might end up stepping in a trap.

Kenjirou’s shoulders were tense as he stood in the center of the kitchen. Eita watched as one of the other players sitting at the table smirked and took a swipe at Kenjirou with the end of a key. His stomach clenched, almost anticipating a hit. He knew on instinct these boys weren’t afraid to set aside their teasing and actually hurt Kenjirou.

“Just give him his keys,” Eita said, watching Kenjirou turn to look at him, expression still guarded.

The boys at the table didn’t look scared of Eita in the least but the one holding the keys tossed them to Kenjirou, not breaking eye contact. “Just playin’. No need to get protective.”

Kenjirou inhaled, ready to unleash a rude comment, Eita knew from experience. He took control and placed his hands on Kenjirou’s shoulders, steering him away from the kitchen and pushing him back toward the front door, laughter already echoing behind them.

Eita suspected that if they were alone, Kenjirou might have reacted, but the seething expression on his face said it all. Eita patted his shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

Halfway to the front door, Kenjirou glared over his shoulder. “I don’t need your help,” he hissed.

Passing through the living room, the video game-playing starting setter glanced over as well. “Who’s your mom friend, Shirabu?”

“None of your business,” he growled in response.

The taller boy reached out to grab Kenjirou’s arm as he walked past. “Don’t think you can talk that way to me, brat.”

Eita wanted to keep walking, but Kenjirou whirled on the setter, never one to back down from a fight when he was fired up.

The sophomore looked bored, but tightened his grip on Kenjirou’s wrist, pulling him down to his level. “Watch your mouth.” With his other hand, the older setter punched Kenjirou’s shoulder and Eita winced too. It was a hard hit, probably hard enough to leave a bruise in the morning.

Kenjirou wrestled his arm away, crescent-shaped marks dotting his forearm from the other boy’s fingernails. He kept his head down after that, silently leading Eita outside and slamming the door closed behind them.

Waiting on the front step, Taichi looked nervous but Kenjirou had resumed his signature straight posture and defiant smoldering look in his eyes like nothing had happened. Taichi looked to Eita instead, who tried to convey the truth by raising his eyebrows with worry.

Taking off at a quick pace, Kenjirou took the lead back to the apartment that Eita suddenly felt very privileged to have. His opinion of Kenjirou hadn’t changed, but he could sympathize with the situation at least.

The entire way back, Eita could feel Taichi’s eyes on him, asking questions Eita didn’t want to answer. Had Kenjirou not been two steps ahead of them, Taichi would be asking for the hundredth time if Kenjirou could move in. The answer was still no from Eita. He was not going to share his space or his housemate with Kenjirou full-time, no matter the circumstances. The occasional weekend would be fine but Kenjirou had already taken too much from him in the past.

 

Stepping back through the apartment’s front door, Eita was the first to break the silence. “Ground rules. First off, Kenjirou, I don’t want to see your stupid face so stay in Taichi’s bedroom. Second, Taichi, you’re sleeping with me. I’m not giving up what we have because he’s here.”

Taichi’s expression barely shifted, but Eita knew how to read his dissatisfaction. Eita knew full well he was being unreasonably clingy to someone who wasn’t even formally his boyfriend, but Kenjirou lived to steal the best things in Eita’s life from him. Not this time.

Even with Taichi staring at him, Eita wasn’t ready to relent. “He’s here for his own safety, not so you guys can cuddle all day.”

Kenjirou acknowledged the ground rules with a single nod and disappeared into Taichi’s room without looking back.

Eita exhaled slowly, glancing at Taichi. “Sorry. Those are my rules. I’m not putting myself in a position to be hurt by him again. Take it or leave it.”

Without saying anything, Taichi moved into the kitchen to find breakfast for himself.

Remorse crossed Eita’s mind for a split second but he buried it. He was justified in his actions and he was already being generous enough by letting Kenjirou stay here, even if Taichi didn’t agree with him. From his pocket, Eita’s phone lit up with a text. The number wasn’t assigned a contact after he’d deleted it long ago, but the sender was obvious based on the message, “Thank you for letting me stay here.”


	7. Taichi

The weekend was awkward and tense from the beginning, but it was still an improvement on the norm. All three worked jobs at various intervals during the two days and there weren't many hours that all were even home together. Taichi could feel the storm brewing in the atmosphere when he was home. Eita, who was usually begging for movie nights, kept within the confines of his bedroom and only emerged for minutes at a time. Taichi felt like he was the only one safe in the living room and in both bedrooms and found that he didn’t know which room to be in ever. He didn’t want to show favoritism like Eita was apparently worried about.

Dragging himself home from a long work shift on Sunday afternoon, Taichi deliberated with himself up the stairs and through the front door. He glanced at Eita’s closed bedroom door before heading to his own, knocking softly before entering.

Seated at the desk, Kenjirou rapidly typed on his laptop, looking up instinctively when Taichi entered. “Hi. How was work?”

“Hey.” Taichi smiled. “It was fine. You doing okay?”

Kenjirou rolled his eyes. “Don’t talk to me like I’m a victim. I’m fine. I’ll head out in a couple hours because we have practice tonight and everything will go back to the way it was.”

Taichi hid his troubled expression by turning away to change into casual clothing. “I’m pretty sure I can convince Eita to let you stay longer or you could come over every weekend. He might make you help with rent but—”

“I don’t want to live here.”

Exhaling slowly as he pulled a shirt over his head, Taichi turned slowly back to face Kenjirou. This entire situation was stressing him out big time and he didn’t know what to say that could possibly help. He knew silence wasn’t going to do anything either, but he was lost for words to commune what his heart was trying to say.

Kenjirou’s eyes were stony. “I’m not going to live here, Taichi. I’m not sharing an apartment with Eita. You know the other guys at the house are just hazing me for fun but they’ll lose interest after a while. Everyone who is anyone on that team lives at that house and I don’t take the invitation to live there lightly. Maybe it doesn’t make sense to you, but getting my stuff taken every now and then is better than being shut in your room all day.”

Taichi dropped onto the bed, maintaining his eye contact with Kenjirou. “Did Eita do something to you while I was gone? Did he threaten you? You don’t need to stay shut in here. He’s being whiny because he doesn’t like you and you’re not doing much better.”

“My conflicts with Eita are none of your business and you have no right to call it immature. This is my choice and I’d rather stay at the house. You made your choice to live with Eita and now I’m making my choice.”

No one moved until Kenjirou’s laptop went into screensaver, drawing both of their attention. Kenjirou slammed the lid shut, scowling. “I’m going to go. Have a good rest of your night. I’ll see you later.”

Taichi stood up and grabbed Kenjirou’s shoulder. Kenjirou flinched and Taichi felt a bolt of guilt spear his chest. He let go but didn’t back off as Kenjirou packed up. “Why. Why are you doing this to yourself, Kenjirou? You can’t be worse off here than at the house. In what way is that place the better of two evils?”

“Because either way I’m rejected. Rejection from the team? I don’t care what they think of me so it doesn’t matter. Rejection from Eita?” Kenjirou trailed off. “It means more to me.”

Lost for words, Taichi stood still while Kenjirou moved around him, repacking his bag before heading out, refusing to make eye contact again.

“Thanks for standing up for me and letting me stay here. Tell Eita the same.”

 

Taichi didn’t move until he heard the front door shut quietly with Kenjirou’s departure. He felt lost standing in his own bedroom. He felt lonely in between his two closest friends. He felt at war with his own heart with nothing to make it better.

The bedroom door clicked open and Eita stepped in cautiously. “Kenjirou left?”

Taichi didn’t speak, afraid his voice would come out sounding frustrated.

Eita shut the door behind him. “Is he... Are  _ you _ okay?”

“Why do you hate each other so much? You don’t have to be best friends but we could make this work, I’m positive. But neither of you want it to work and I don’t understand why.”

Keeping silent for another moment, Eita rested his hands on Taichi’s shoulders and sat them both down on the bed. “I think I could... forgive him. But only if I feel like he has any remorse at all for what he’s done to me. I don’t like him but I’d offer a place to stay for someone I don’t like. I can’t let him  _ stay _ because I’m not stupid. I’m not going to open myself up to attack again. It hurts me because I know that hurts you, but this is self-preservation.”

Taichi felt Eita’s fingers slide up through the back of his hair and pull his head down to rest on Eita’s shoulder. Argument or not, Taichi couldn’t escape the fond reminder swelling up in his chest of why he loved living with Eita.

“I promise I’m not just being petty,” Eita continued. “I’m not mad that he took my spot on the team in high school. But he’s never had any respect for me and that’s where I draw the line. When I found out that we had a new setter who might actually be good, I was excited to help him learn and teach him what I knew. But he never listened to me because he thought he had all the answers already and he blew me off time and time again. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt that, Taichi, but it fucking hurts. It hurts to be treated like trash. By my third year, it was known that I had a stupid crush on you, but he stole that too because he was  _ always _ with you and I could never get closer. The fact that he made the team here hurt too. I don’t envy him for what he has to put up with at the house, but I can’t say I feel too bad for him either. So before you label me as a heartless monster for turning him away, know that I want to accept him. I don’t want him to live the way he does. But I’m also scared because he’s going to steal you away from me again and don’t even suggest that he’d be okay with sharing. I don’t trust Kenjirou and that’s why I have to draw the line. If that makes you uncomfortable and you’d rather go off with him again, I can’t control that as much as I wish I could steal you from him the way he stole you from me but I’m not going to do that. Taichi, you have to have known this but you’re going to have to pick one of us regardless of your feelings. I’m not letting him in past the outer circle of my trust. So it’s him or me.”

Taichi felt the tears prickling in his eyes and his posture crumbled slightly. Eita knew exactly where his deepest flaw lay. He would never be able to pick. Kenjirou was his best friend but Eita was his companion. Taichi wished he could somehow split himself in two so he wouldn’t have to pick, wouldn’t have to betray anyone, but he knew a heart broken in half wouldn’t beat much longer anyway.

Muffling a choked sob in the fabric of Eita’s shirt, Taichi pushed them both backwards on the bed, holding Eita and allowing himself to be held too. He didn’t know what to do but his usual passive response was only making things worse. He could obsess over Eita and Kenjirou’s conflict all day if he wanted to, but as the only mediator between them, he needed to change too or there would be no hope of resolving this in a way where everyone was happy. He would break before he would choose and it looked like breaking was going to be the reality unless he became more than he used to be.


	8. Kenjirou

The late afternoon had grown uncomfortably warm, but Kenjirou didn’t mind, wandering the sidewalks of campus with Taichi and enjoying the time he had between classes and volleyball practice. The walk had been spent in silence so far, but it was a comfortable silence like they were used to after such a long time being friends.

“Sorry for storming out yesterday,” Kenjirou finally said, picking apart a woodchip from the ground and trying to avoid splinters under his fingernails. “I wasn’t mad at you at any point, just... frustrated with the situation.”

Taichi nodded and Kenjirou struggled to interpret what that meant. “I talked to Eita last night,” Taichi finally spoke.

Kenjirou held back a sarcastic “I’m sure you did.” He’d be lying to say he didn’t still feel a bit wounded from being mostly ignored all weekend, Eita trapping Taichi in his bedroom most of the time.

“We talked about why he hates you so much and won’t let you live with us.”

The pebble on the ground begged to be kicked and Kenjirou sent it skidding off the edge of the sidewalk with an angry scoff. “Yeah? And what did you think of that?”

Taichi’s hands found his pants pockets. “What did you mean that rejection from Eita meant more to you?”

“I don’t know. We’ve talked about Eita before and why I don’t like him. You can’t trust someone who wants the same things as you because they’re always going to have their own interests in mind. Maybe in high school, he said he wanted to teach me to be a better setter but no one  _ wants _ the new kid to be better than them. And then when he admitted he liked you... It’s the same thing. I’m not sharing. I don’t care if you pick him over me. I’ll survive living in the team house. I’ve lived so far. But I know they’re just rejecting me because I’m younger and because they can get away with bullying me. On the court, we all get along and I don’t need to be best friends with any of them anyway. But Eita... I don’t know. There’s a part of me that still wants to impress him and still kinda looks up to him like I did in high school. I’ve known him longer and I know he’s a good person. So I guess rejection from him feels like a heavier blow. I don’t have to be good enough for this team. They can remind me I’m not good enough every day but it doesn’t matter. But I don’t know if I could put up with hearing from Eita that I’m not good enough every single day. I respect him, I guess.”

The sidewalk curved and the volleyball gym came into view ahead. The large building still sent mixed messages through Kenjirou’s head in ways he couldn’t decipher. Inside the gym, everyone on his new team was nice and he felt like he belonged but as soon as they stepped outside, everything changed and Kenjirou couldn’t tell what was real and what was pretend.

Hanging back a little more, Kenjirou looked at Taichi, still silent. “What are you thinking?”

Taichi shrugged half-heartedly. “I’m listening to both of you and I’m frustrated. You both want to like each other but you’re both too proud to give up being ‘right.’”

Kenjirou glared at the sidewalk. “I’m not trying to change anything that’s going on right now. I’m fine. He’s fine where he is, living with you and I’m fine living with my team. It’s better for all of us to just keep it the same and stay out of each other’s ways.”

“It’s not better,” Taichi blurted. “It’s not better for me having to be stuck between you two. Eita’s never going to steal me away from you because I love you both. It’s not better for him because he still wants to be friends with you but he’s nervous to trust you but I think it makes him sad. And it’s not better for you because you want the same thing and you’re holding yourself back from a lot of potential happiness. That and...” Taichi reached over and yanked up the sleeve of Kenjirou’s t-shirt, revealing the dark bruise on his shoulder.

Kenjirou jerked away, cheeks heating up. He’d been careful to keep that covered all weekend but should’ve known Eita would tell. “Stop! Just leave me alone!” Kenjirou almost wanted to break off and head to the gym, leaving Taichi behind. Practice wouldn’t be starting for another half hour, but anyone was allowed to use the gym in the meantime so there were often random people using the courts that Kenjirou didn’t want to deal with. Still, he didn’t want to be stuck outside any longer. Taichi was right as usual with his uncanny vision into Kenjirou’s heart. He didn’t want to hold the grudge against Eita but he didn’t want to give up either. If he somehow admitted that, there was no telling how Eita might react though. It was better not to know than to face the possibility of more rejection from someone who still inexplicably mattered to him.

The courts in the gym were indeed being used, one by a group of random students and one by members of the team, getting in some extra time before official practice started. A lone figure serving up against a wall caught Kenjirou’s eye, though he hurried to look away. He would know that serve anywhere but he wished he didn’t.

It didn’t appear that Eita had noticed his presence, so Kenjirou stepped back outside to face Taichi.

The ginger tipped his head in question so Kenjirou relayed that Eita was inside.

The smack of balls against hands and floors quieted and Kenjirou’s eyes were drawn back into the gym. The makeshift team of regulars had paused their drills and were starting to kick the other students out so practice could begin soon.

Kenjirou watched Eita toss the ball back into the bin and start to leave. On his way past the starting team, the setter reached out and caught his shoulder, recognizing him. Kenjirou’s heart skipped a beat as Eita was pushed backward and the taller, meaner-looking setter confronted him.

Taichi’s hand slid into Kenjirou’s. “Do something...”

Fighting for air, Kenjirou watched. He couldn’t make out any of the words but the body language was clear enough. Eita was backing away slowly while the starting setter pursued. Kenjirou wasn’t sure there was anything he  _ could _ do even if he wanted to.

“Please, Kenjirou.” Taichi squeezed his hand harder. “Not for him, for me. Do something.”

Kenjirou blinked and shook Taichi’s hand off before stepping inside. He crossed the floor with large strides until his teammate noticed him, still glaring. Kenjirou refused to look at Eita, though his attention had been drawn now too.

“Let him leave,” Kenjirou spoke firmly. “He never did anything to you so just let him go.”


	9. Eita

When Eita decided to blow off some steam playing volleyball, he had a feeling it wouldn’t end well. Approaching the volleyball gym meant having to deal with a long list of people he didn’t care for, Kenjirou at the top of said list.

He recognized the scowling young man from inside the house, playing the setter position. As Eita found a spot along the wall to smack a ball around he couldn’t help noticing the setter’s style. He was good... but not as good as Kenjirou.

That thought alone angered Eita enough to train his focus on his own activity and he served into the wall as he lost track of time and the world around him. It felt good to have his hands on a ball again, even in an unwelcoming environment and he kept working until he could feel the sweat running down his back.

The captain of the regular team interrupted him with a shout that everyone needed to leave the gym so official practice could start. Eita hadn’t realized it was that late already. He’d intended to leave earlier and reduce his chances of running into Kenjirou. Hoping that was still an achievable goal, Eita returned his ball and head toward the door, hurrying faster as the setter from the school’s team approached him and pulled him back away from the door, malice in his eyes.

“I don’t want trouble,” Eita said quickly, his heart speeding up. “I’m just trying to get out of here so I don’t have to see Kenjirou. He’s no friend of mine either.”

The setter took a step forward, forcing Eita back. “Seems like an odd place to come if you’re trying to avoid someone on the volleyball team, don’t you think?”

Eita knew the answer to that question. Fortunately, he was saved from having to answer by the entrance of his worst nightmare.

“Let him leave,” Kenjirou said, approaching the setter with confidence Eita would never hope to mimic.

The look in the rival setter’s eyes made Eita uncomfortable. It was the same boredom he’d seen during the weekend visit to the house, as if Kenjirou was little more than an annoying bug. Eita could relate to that feeling too, but he had also seen the larger setter throw a very hard punch without losing that disinterested expression. There was no safety to be found in this room.

Eita took the opportunity to step back while the setter’s attention was on Kenjirou.

Kenjirou kept approaching, looking as unamused as the other setter.

“You’re protecting him now?” The setter reached out almost lazily to swat at Kenjirou’s head.

Hand shooting up just as quickly, Kenjirou blocked the strike, finally meeting Eita’s eye, communicating perfectly.  _ Leave _ . “Just trying to save him the effort of having to put up with your shit.”

The setter’s expression remained the same as he lunged again and grabbed Kenjirou’s hand, bending his fingers backwards and smirking at the loud grunt of pain that slipped from Kenjirou’s mouth. “I don’t recall it being your business who I talk to.”

Eita’s mind was whirling. He was frozen in place, but he ached to move, to fight back as well. The other setter appeared to be enjoying his power over Kenjirou. But at this rate, he was going to break Kenjirou’s hand.

Somehow, Kenjirou still had a bit of control over the situation. He stomped on the other setter’s foot and slipped away. He stood now directly between Eita and the rival setter.

Finally, the indifferent expression gave way to a real frown. “Fuck off, Shirabu. You can play superhero another time.”

Kenjirou didn’t move. “Then don’t talk like that to Eita. You should respect him more. He’s a more skilled setter than you.”

The words surprised Eita more than anything so he could only stand still while he watched anger flood the face of the other setter from behind Kenjirou. More skilled? Kenjirou had never complimented him on the court before — or anywhere — and it couldn’t be a tactic to get out of a tight situation because it seemed that if anything, the other setter wasn’t going to be happy with either of them getting away now.

“You know why?” Kenjirou took a half step toward his rival on the school’s team. “You know how I know that?” He had the attention of everyone in the room now. “Because I’m better than you and everyone knows it.” The setter’s hands balled into fists at his sides but Kenjirou didn’t break eye contact. “And Eita... Eita’s better than I am so naturally, that makes him better than you. I wish...” Kenjirou stumbled over his words and glanced over his shoulder. “I wish I would’ve taken the time to learn more from him while I had the chance. But I did pick up a few things from him, mostly how to protect other people even if you’re not sure they would do the same for you.”

Eita was stunned. The delivery hadn’t been graceful but emotions and communication had never been Kenjirou’s strong suit anyway. He got the message across though. Faced with someone trying to beat the shit out of him, it was a lousy way to apologize, but an apology it had been.

“Him?” The setter looked past Kenjirou at Eita and scoffed. “He looks even weaker than you.”

Before Eita could think to speak or move, Kenjirou did. His fist slammed into the other setter’s face.

He retaliated with his hands on Kenjirou’s shoulders, pulling him down as he brought a knee up to connect with Kenjirou’s jaw.

“What the hell are you doing!” Eita wasn’t sure if he was yelling at Kenjirou, the other setter or himself as he dropped to his knees, tears beginning to run down his cheeks.

Within the span of a heartbeat, it was an all-out brawl on the gymnasium floor. The setter had tried kicking Kenjirou in the chest, but Kenjirou pulled him down as well, now kneeling over him and doing his best to knock his rival’s teeth out.

“Stop! Get off me!” The setter could only block punches and hide his face, overpowered by Kenjirou’s sheer rage.

Taichi sprinted in out of nowhere, grabbing Kenjirou under the arms to pull him away and Eita helped too, hoping to contain Kenjirou’s struggling. The rest of the volleyball team had run over as well, picking their setter up.

Both Kenjirou and the other setter looked fairly messed up but Kenjirou pulled forward like he could keep going while his opponent slouched back, defeated. Fire still burning bright and hot in Kenjirou’s eyes, he spat bloody saliva on the floor. “That’s for refusing to teach me anything, kicking me out of the shower when I’m not done, giving me a concussion, locking me in my room for two days, and for disrespecting Eita.”

“Woah, Kenjirou. Take it easy.” The team captain stepped forward, hands out in warning.

Eita had a hundred things to say and he stepped out in front of Kenjirou to speak his mind, looking the captain in the eyes. “The fuck you think you’re doing, playing mediator! I know what you’ve been doing to him every single day! I can’t even believe this team is functional because you all have some serious problems. This is no way to treat your underclassmen if you want this team to stay together.” Eita found himself looking over his shoulder at Kenjirou. “I... Kenjirou, I’m sorry for not giving you the chance to be friends like you deserved. You can refuse me if you want, but I’d really like it if you came and lived with Taichi and me.”

Eita knew he was blushing and the other members of the volleyball team were probably confused by his speech and the drama they didn’t know about, but Eita didn’t care. “They don’t deserve you. I don’t either but maybe you’ll give me a second chance. At least give Taichi that chance. He’s a lot happier with you around and I think we can learn to be a little more than we used to be.”

Kenjirou glanced between Eita and the rest of his team. Blood was smeared over his face and he looked a bit ridiculous. His cheeks reddened but he didn’t break eye contact. “I... I’d like that. I’ll see you guys after practice, I guess.”

“You’re sure you’re okay to go to practice like that? And are you going to get in trouble for fighting?”

The team’s setter and a few other members walked to the locker room door and Kenjirou watched them pass, speaking loud enough to be heard. “It’s the same thing as always. No one’s going to get in trouble because no one’s going to say anything about it.”

When he didn’t get a response, Kenjirou exhaled and turned toward the front door. “There’s a sink outside. I’m not going in there with him.”

Eita followed close behind, Taichi on his tail as well. He could barely contain all the things he wanted to say, waiting until they were outside and Kenjirou had splashed his face with water from a large washtub beside the building, rubbing away the blood. His lip was split and still lazily bleeding but it wasn’t bad. Eita hesitantly placed a hand on Kenjirou’s shoulder. “Kenjirou. Are you safe here?”

Making confident eye contact, Kenjirou nodded. “I won. Nobody’s going to cross me, especially if I don’t live at the house anymore. You... Were you actually serious about letting me move in? It was nice of you to say even if you don’t mean it, but you don’t have to put up with me just because you pity me.”

Eita turned Kenjirou away from the sink to look him in the eyes. “I’m serious. Unrestricted access this time. Sorry I tried to keep Taichi away from you last weekend. He’s his own person and he can spend time with whoever he wants. We still only have two bedrooms but we’ll make it work somehow.”

Taichi chimed in. “Maybe I’ll even get a room to myself every now and then once you two hit it off.”

“You’re going to make me spend time with him? Gross.” Kenjirou wrinkled his nose but it turned into a half-smile at Eita’s offended recoil. “Don’t get so hasty thinking you’re going to want to see my face at all. You’re probably going to want to kick me out again by the end of the week. You don’t know what it’s like to live with me.”

A faint laugh rose up in Eita’s throat that he couldn’t stop. He felt lighter after giving up on the dumb conflict. “Oh, trust me, I know full well how much of a brat you can be. But I also respect you and considering you just fought a guy six inches taller than you for my honor, I think I have to leave the offer on the table. Are you going to come live with us?”

Kenjirou smiled. “Yes, please. I respect you too, Eita. I always have, I think. But I’m ready to be more than we used to be.”


End file.
